My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
