What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
