No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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