my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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