When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
