so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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