it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Boobs speak an international language.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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