Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
