I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
