About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
