Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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