Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
