a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
