Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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