Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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