Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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