So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just forgot I was standing up.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
