There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize