Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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