I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
