i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
