I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
