You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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