Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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