I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im having a threesome with these popsicles
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
