NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
