I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize