did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
