He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
