Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
