just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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