Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
