omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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