I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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