My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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