I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
