i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
