Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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