I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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