Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
