I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
