I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
