And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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