I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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