We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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