Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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