Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
