I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
