East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
