dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
