If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The best revenge is premature balding
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
