I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
