I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
