its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
the raccoons are back...
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