i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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