thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's just like the Real World with babies
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
