If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
