First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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