tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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