i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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