Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
