I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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