For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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