One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
