My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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