Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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